My Deflower
by Demere Joanna
Summary: This is a oneshot written in the point of view of Syaoran. Sakura means the world to him but she doesn't have long left, they finalise their love.


My Deflower

Disclaimer: I hold no ownership over CCS

A/N: Hi guys, this is a one-shot, the idea came to me and I just had to write about it. I hope it turns out well. This is in the point of view of Syaoran.

A green curtain stood in my way, I could not move it. I had to respect her privacy. Even though we were joined at the hip, inseparable, I could not be with her at this moment. My usual coolness had gone, three months a go my whole attitude to life had changed. I used to take life for granted, a smashed up face here…no problem stitches would fix that. A broken arm there, a cast and three weeks rest and I was normal again.

It had hit me, this was something that my wife would never recover from. We have no children, just her and myself. I can hear her screams behind the green curtain, the barrier keeping me from my soul mate. I long to crunch the people who are inflicting pain on her to bits. My eyes cloud with fury. I must go outside now and clear my thoughts.

I walk away from my wife's howls of misery, torrents of pain, cries of anguish. She is begging me with all her will to come to her. Yet I cannot, she does not have long left. No words can distinguish what she is about to face. No actions can express my regret that she was destined to leave this way. I can feel water begin to fill my eyes when I think about her. She is my wife but she has always been more.

She's my acquaintance, my shoulder-to-shoulder buddy, my best friend, my most trusted advisor, my erotic and corrosive dream. My second girlfriend, when time allowed she became my first girlfriend. I had never felt such a strong desire to want somebody until I met her. All the others were mere pleasure devices, used to feel a void in a man's life. When I proposed to her, she was ecstatic. Her jewels shone brightly and her pearls glowed in the dim light of the moon.

The night of our announcement of engagement, I deflowered her. She told me that she had waited since the first day she had met me for us to come together as one. I asked her how she knew this. She just smiled her secret smile, I gleaned nothing from it but passion. She satisfied me in ways that were unknown to me, she knew little but taught me so much. In the four years we have been married our bond had always remained equal. Strong in daytime, mystical at night time.

When the sun rose we were polite to each other, we respected one another as was customary of husband and wife. When the sun set, the night called out to us dark and foreboding to all others. For my Sakura and I, we awakened, we became ourselves. We explored the lengths of all that could be and beyond together. Many times we would seal our love. In the morning two doves would fly to the safety of their nest, a rich forest green leaf symbolised their love for one another. The forest green leaf meant the world to my Sakura and me.

Hey eyes are shaped like leaves, a forest green. So alluring, captivating an imprisonment for all but myself. I feel free when I gaze in her fortitude of green, a forest all of my own. She is the leaves of the tree and I am the bark. She would say that often to me. My own eyes were a light brown colour, she called it amber I called it weak. She often reassured me of my strengths, my hastiness…my temper; she said this is what she most loved about me. All other men are useless compared to myself she would say.

At this time I found that I don't like green, it is separating me from my love. There is no bark to keep us together, she will go her way. I do not want to go mine. I must find the bark to keep us together. I decide to look around for the bark, I spend half an hour searching around the garden endlessly; silently praying to god for a piece of bark. My prayers are unanswered, god does not favour me now. He is going to take away the only one I have ever cared about. My leaf will take flight with all the leaves of summer, when autumn comes to this part of the world she will wither and fade away. People will step on her over and over again, until there is nothing left.

I walk wearily in to the building known as a hospital where they are supposed to look after and nurse the sick back to health. I see no point in having these buildings here, they cannot save my leaf. Men in whites coats and women in blue tops rush around trying to answer the calls of the ill. It is frivolous all of them will fade away and join the damned. This new illness that had found its way inside of my wife, was perfect proof of this.

I find my way back to my wife's room, the green curtain is still pulled. I can hear noises behind there. Her breathing is heavy, the men and women who were tending to her earlier I assumed have gone. There are no voices to be heard behind the curtain except for my leaf's. Her green voice speaks out to me beckoning me to come closer, her hands long to claw my skin for leaving her alone in her time of greatest need.

Her voice is small and significant, the most important voice to me. "Syaoran" she whispers my name. She can see my silhouette behind the flimsy green curtain, she can feel my bark hands protruding the material searching for a way in. I open the gap and her leaf eyes bore into mine capturing my soul in her forest of green. This time there is no bark, we are not joined.

My amber eyes plead silently with hers to ask the bark to come, a light amber colour is needed for us to become whole once again. She laughs at my disdain, her gentle feather laughter burns me inside. "Syaoran" she says again more strongly. My lips remain in their position, my eyes downcast, my head bowed in my hands. I can feel her slipping away from me, I am powerless to stop the spreading of her pain.

I feel hair tickle the tips of my fingers, I glance up and see her dull green eyes glaring into my own. Her smile has left her face replaced with a frown. She is already dressed to meet her end, a white gown has been placed on her lithe body. Her legs bare and white, her auburn hair is flowing around her angelic solemn face. Her forehead is free from any intrusions except mine. I stand up quickly and carry her back to her bed. Placing a scornful but light kiss on her forehead. A wet mark is left there, her smile comes to her face once more open and decisive.

We are both young, both the same age. We are nearer to thirty than twenty, however my leaf looks the same as she always has, the same as we first met. The only difference is that one of her breasts has been cut off. This was the cause of our shortened time together. Until three months a go we were fine, happy and untainted. When she became sick I worried for her health, we consulted the men in white coats and they said she had something called cancer. It was in her left breast but there was a chance that it could spread to other parts of her body.

They removed her left breast, hoping to have gotten rid of the cancer there. To no avail though, she was too advanced to have anymore treatment. The cancer had spread too far in, her bones, ached with pain. They have become fragile, she is not supposed to leave her bed. She did not pay heed to what the doctor said, always she is out of bed doing the things that she loves, playing her piano the way she loves. As a result of this she now has only hours to live, not months…not days…only hours. My heart bleeds as I think of these words.

My face becomes dank once more, my leaf senses this and smiles more warmly, inviting me to claim what's mine. Slowly I move to my target, pale pink lips meet mine eagerly. The kiss is our final one before she is called upon to fulfil her duty on this pitiful worthless world. The kiss speaks volumes about our entwinement, the passion is not needed just the subtleness and airy aroma is enough to feed our hunger. My steel dreamer has left. She left the day she found out she was going to die.

She knows her time is near, I do not know nor do I understand it. God is truly callous and the devil himself if he takes my wife. My enthralling, spellbinding, magical ascending Sakura. Her face has grown more pale her breathing is becoming more shallow. She cups her face in mine and returns the kiss on the forehead I gave her earlier. Full of understanding and reverence. She hides her love for me, but I know its there. The bleeding anger of myself is telling me its there.

"Sakura" I whisper her name, I want to say something to her but I do not know what there is to say. Her leaf eyes look into mine, her breathing is slowing down, becoming harder to reach. She is being called into sleep. I tell her for the last time "I love you". She gives me a small smile, her leaf forest green eyes glance at me one last time before she closes her eyes forever. Her breathing stops…she is dead.

Something falls onto the floor, I pick it up. A piece of bark an amber colour with a green leaf attached to it. On the leaf the word 'Love' is etched on to it. I look at the bark and notice the words I and You. I place the leaf in the middle of the words I and You and they form the words "I love you". I hear her voice in my mind one last time reassuring me as she always has done that I am her bark and she is my leaf.

The End

Well that's it for the one shot guys. I know its strange, I wanted to try something new. Please review and tell me what you think.

Demere


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